V&V: Josh is very good to me.

Tonight, after the vaudeville show came down, I wandered into the costume shop to disrobe my undergarments. (I don't really have a dressing room and the bathrooms are frequently in use by one of the many ladies in the cast, so I do my undergarment dressing and undressing in the back of the costume shop, behind a clothes rack.)

When I entered the shop, our costume, Josh was hand sewing a patch on the inside of something that looked like a pair of jeans, but because costumers end up sewing things inside of other strange things, I just accepted what he was doing and moved past him. I noted, though, a look of annoyance on his face. Very clearly not directed at me.

"How're things, Josh?" I asked, as I passed by him, going to gather up my street clothes.

"Pick a topic." he said, deadpanned.

"Excuse me?" I asked. A little confused.

"What do you mean? How is which thing?" he looked up from his sewing.

"Oh, I don't know. Let's start our speaking generally. How are you feeling?" I picked up my clothes, grabbing socks, pants, t-shirt and underwear.

"I am feeling fine," he answered.

"How's your love life, Josh?" I asked.

"Doing well, actually. I've been with the same guy for tow years now. And honestly, I've never committed to anything for that long. So, it's going well. How is yours?"

I stepped behind my clothes rack and began laying out the things that I was going to change into.

"Well, it's not going. Actually. A bit by choice. I'm taking some time off from chasing around for someone. I'm leaving it up to random fate to find someone for me."

"How's that going?" I could hear him go back to his sewing.

"So far, so good. I feel like I've taken a lot of pressure off of myself. I went through a phase a month or two ago, where I was pretty lonely. But I feel fine, right now. Maybe it's because I get to flirt with the girls in the show, a little bit. That seems to tide me over, all right." I sat down on a chair and began slipping out of my socks and sock garters.

"Well, I don't know who I was talking to about you the other day, but I told them that if you were gay, I'd go after you in an instant!" I stopped undressing and just listened to him. And then I felt a little anxious, because sometimes it's hard to hear people say nice things about you. It's a little embarrassing.

"Josh, that's sweet of you," I went back to undressing.

"Oh sure. You're a good looking guy. And you're funny and that means that you're smart. And you're fun to talk to and to be around. And I just have a feeling that you can be very loving and good to the people you date. You're going to make some girl very happy."

And I just sat there, knocked flat by the care and appreciation that he was expressing. I couldn't see him on the other side of the clothing rack, but I could hear that it wasn't a solicitation or a come-on. There was nothing salacious or ass-kissing about it.

It was one human being, lowering their defenses enough to share a moment of honesty and appreciation. And I felt attractive and capable and valuable to someone, for a few minutes there. I trust Josh. He doesn't have time or patience for the bullshit. He calls it like he sees it. I've seen him do it time and again. And somehow, hearing sweet things about me, from him, had an authenticity that I felt like I could trust. It was one of the sweetest things that anyone has said about me in a long time.

"Josh. That's so kind of you. I want you to know that I really appreciate that." Without any irony or any jokeyness, from behind a rack of costumes, I tried to let him know how deeply that touched me.

"Well, don't let it go too much to your head. I'm taken." and he went back to his sewing and I went back to changing out of my costume. We made some more small talk and then I left after I'd changed. I patted him, appreciatively, on the knee as I passed by him, back into the other room. If he wasn't behind a table and working on a costume, I would've given him a hug. He was very good to me.

Cheers,
Mr.B